It’s time for someplace a bit more Free.
We find approximately this much Freedom:
Lincoln gazes out over all of the Freedom.
…and mutters “keep off the grass, and stay in the designated Freedom Zones!”…
…whilst George Washington frees his chiseled abs.
This country is very fond of their “Natural Flavor”.
They are also proud of Clint Eastwood.
They are also proud of AOL reviews.
After Scott Baio’s favorite restaurant, it’s Christmas time!
There are Christmas musical drinking straws.
There are Christmas peppermint candy straws.
There are Christmas head scratchers.
And then, of course, there is Christmas bowling.
Which, it turns out, we are not very good at.
We are, however, excellent at getting Chinese food.
We have Christmas century eggs.
and Christmas fried frogs.
Then we sleep, so we can get to Christmas Eritrean brunch.
We get ga’at.
We get fit-fit.
Then we go elsewhere, and we get cheese.
Then time to see more Things of Freedom.
This House is White.
People take their pictures in front of it. Some people use selfie sticks.
There is also a small Freedom Tree, which you are not permitted near.
There is a large bird habitat.
And there are dead things!
Like these dead cats.
And this dead technology.
Finally, we catch up with friends from days past.
Then we head to Chinatown.
We board the frightening discount bus.
And we move on.
Away from history, away from Freedom.